epiphany
by arekxandura
Summary: he just wants her to remember the past that elluded her reincarnated mind. [Gruvia Week 2017]
1. passion

_starting this series for Gruvia week! a reincarnated Juvia who can't remember Gray has always been one of my most favourite AUs, and I have no idea why. Hope you guys like it!_

* * *

"Fairy Tail was—no, it still is—our home."

"Juvia wishes she could remember," the girl told him, tugging the ribbon attached to her school uniform. "But all Juvia really knows is growing up in an orphanage with Gajeel-kun."

"Didn't he tell you about Fairy Tail?" Gray prodded.

"Juvia supposes he mentioned it once or twice." Juvia sighed. "Perhaps he stopped because Juvia had no idea what he was talking about."

"Fairy Tail was a guild in our past life in the other world."

 _"Our?"_

She looked terribly confused, and Gray mentally cursed at Gajeel for not explaining it as soon as the iron dragon slayer regained his memory. "It's a shared memory between all of us. Professor Makarov, Lucy, Erza, Natsu, Mirajane, Cana—everyone. It's the life we led before we reincarnated into ourselves again. Here. In a different world."

"This is a different world from our past lives?"

Gray nodded. "In our past life, there was magic. I was an ice mage. You were a water mage."

She looked like she didn't want to believe him, but when the blue-haired girl's eyes widened, Gray wondered if he had triggered some sort of memory.

"Juvia is a swimmer," she admitted. "She has always loved the water, for some strange reason."

"Do you like the rain?"

Silence.

"Juvia loves the rain."

He flashed her a smile. "That's good."

A light red dusted her pale cheeks. For a moment Juvia blinked at him, as if she was trying to remember the memories taken away from her.

"Tell me more, Gray-sama."

The afternoon was spent in deep conversation. He told her about the rain that plagued her entire life and their very first battle. He told her about Tenrou, the way she had convinced Meredy to take their side. He told her about his Deliora, Ur, his father, Avatar, Zeref, E.N.D..

She listened with rapt attention.

There was something familiar about the way she responded to his stories. It was as if he was taken back in time, and he was sitting beside Juvia Lockser, recalling his adventures with Team Natsu in the comfort of a cozy house they called theirs.

"Juvia is sorry she doesn't remember."

"It's a slow process," Gray said, shaking his head. "Your memories will return soon."

"What if Juvia can't remember because her past self wanted to forget?"

 _I live for the ones I love!_

"Impossible."

"But what if she did, Gray-sama?" Her eyes looked pained as she looked at him. "What if _I_ did?"

He stared at her then, unable to respond.

Juvia sighed. Noticing his discomfort, she shifted the conversation. "What was Juvia like, Gray-sama?"

"You were a strong mage who loved your friends." _Who loved me._

 _Your love was a slow burn._

Gray could almost see her eyes burst into flames whenever she had declared her love for him, shining like the sun she had longed to see. At first, he didn't understand her wild proclamations, her gifts, her overflowing love for him, and in general— _her_.

Juvia laughed softly, locks of blue rolling off her shoulder as she shifted her position. Tilting her head to the side, she stared at him in curiosity. "Sorry, that must have been an awkward question."

"It's alright," Gray replied, his eyes narrowing.

She was eccentric in her own way. Juvia could fend off females who he couldn't care less about. Juvia could hide behind a pillar just so she could watch him from afar. Juvia could make regular days anniversaries he's never even heard of.

But Juvia could also light up a room with her smile. Juvia could make him feel the warmth he had craved ever since he was a child. Juvia could spread butterflies in the inside of his stomach, making it lurch and churn whenever she was around.

"Juvia is sorry she can't remember."

"It's okay." _Because you're alive._

He remembered the way her flames began to lick the tips of the iceberg called his heart. Which was ironic, because she was a mage who specialized in manipulating water.

A memory forms in his mind. He had just been told that the water mage had sacrificed herself in order to save Cana.

Gray had taken a seat beside her in the hospital bed, dropping the flowers Lucy had told him to give the water mage.

 _"Hey," he said almost guiltily. Juvia was new to the guild, and here she was, lying on one of their beds. "You alright?"_

 _"Juvia is doing great," she told him. There wasn't a hint of sarcasm or malice in her tone. A smile was growing on her lips, and she beamed at him, as if the pain she was feeling was non-existent. "Juvia is happy Gray-sama came to visit her."_

 _She was lying on the bed, her water body suffering because it was electrocuted and yet she still had the audacity to grin just because he graced her with his presence. This selfless girl who was willing to sacrifice herself just so her friends would survive—_

 _Juvia's short hair fanned out on the pillow in light waves. Her pale face was slowly regaining its natural color (thanks to Wendy, no doubt). The blue in her eyes stared at him, hoping to elicit a response._

 _None came._

She still looked the same.

The current Juvia raised an eyebrow at him. "Gray-sama?"

"Sorry," he said dismissively. "I just remembered something." Juvia nooded in understanding, and Gray continued, smirking, "You know, you used to call me Gray-sama back then too."

Her cheeks were once again dusted with red. "Perhaps some things never change."

He fell silent before he decided to bypass his own defenses.

"You fell in love with me back then."

His own cheeks were starting to burn, but it was a detail he felt she should know of. Gray's looked at her, watching her face contort from confusion to realization. She looked away from his scrutinizing gaze.

He spoke before he could stop himself. "You died because you wanted to protect me."

She opened and closed her mouth, at a loss for words. He pushed on, recalling memories stowed away in his mind. Memories that gave him nightmares. Memories that left him yearning for her in the middle of the night, eyes filled with tears, arms seeking the familiar warmth of the water mage.

"There was an ice wizard. His name was Invel." Gray looked away, catching sight of Natsu petting his cat, Happy (which he had been told numerous times not to bring to school, but of course, Natsu was Natsu). "He conjured a spell called 'Ice Lock' that turned us against each other. "

He returned his gaze towards Juvia, and she motioned for him to continue.

"It was a chain that linked at a collar that was wrapped around our necks." Gray frowned. "It was either I kill you, or you kill me."

 _Everything was a haze of water and ice, and the ground was covered with their blood. Of all the things Juvia didn't want to do, Gray knew it was to hurt him._

"I attacked, you attacked. It was a mess." He sighed. "I remember you shouting that your body was far too small for the overflowing feelings to ever be imprisoned in it."

She spoke. "Juvia didn't know she was capable of having that kind of passion to a person she loved."

"You told me that words couldn't express how thankful you were to have met me," Gray said, almost bitterly. "Then you killed yourself so I could live."

For a long time, none of them said a word.

She broke the silence. "Did you love Juvia, Gray-sama?"

Dark eyes met sapphire. Juvia was still hoping. Even in her new life. He broke their gaze.

"I did."

"Even though I killed myself?"

"Well, I kind of died with you."


	2. sunrise

_Here is chapter two! Hope you guys like it ~_

* * *

Juvia had a habit of coming to school earlier than she was supposed to. Waking up in the morning wasn't exactly a chore for her, Gray thought, as he recalled the way he would wake up to the smell of food cooking every morning when they had lived together. She would always go the extra mile just so he could feel as if he was at home.

Reincarnated, her habits didn't really change.

Ever since Juvia had transferred to Fairy Academy, he found himself coming to school at the same time she arrived. Maybe he missed her. Maybe he wanted to make it up to her. Maybe he wanted to bask in her presence and pretend as if they were living together once again. Maybe he wanted her to feel familiar with him again.

Whatever the reason—whatever the _excuse_ he had been giving himself, he wanted to see Juvia.

His new-found habit of waking up early annoyed the hell out of Lyon, so it was fine. Being jolted out of sleep by the sound of an alarm at five forty-five wasn't exactly his cousin's definition of a "good morning."

His habit had surprised Ur and Silver as well. Seeing him awake at an ungodly hour, dressed and prepared to go to school wasn't exactly something they saw every day. Only Ultear, Lyon's sister, had the decency to actually wake up early. However, she was off to her shared dorm with Meredy and Jellal.

Ur and Silver had stared at him as if he was a ghost, and he stared back at both of them incredulously.

 _"_ _What?" Gray asked, cocking an eyebrow as he grabbed his shoes and laid them on the floor. He tossed his jacket over his shoulders, shrugging on the garment._

 _"_ _You're awfully early," Ur commented in light intrigue, crossing her arms above her chest. "Where are you off to?"_

 _"_ _School," he replied casually._

 _"_ _At this hour?"_

 _"_ _Yeah, it opens early, didn't ya know?"_

 _"_ _What Ur's saying is, it's unlike you to be this early, idiot." His father appeared behind him so suddenly that Gray didn't even have time to react. Silver placed his hand over Gray's head, smirking knowingly._

 _"_ _You heard the man," Ur added, glaring at Gray. "Care to speak up?"_

 _Gray rolled his eyes. "I swear I'm not doing drugs."_

 _Silver cleared his throat. "Yes, Ur, I think my son wouldn't be the type to indulge in that kind of substance."_

 _"_ _Repeating the question, then: Care to speak up?"_

 _Silver's smirk widened, providing a response to Ur's inquiry. "She's finally come to your school, eh?" At Gray's blush, Silver's suspicions were confirmed. "Say hi to Juvia for me."_

 _Gray's eye twitched, and he glared at his father for possessing some kind of sixth sense that was able to see right through his actions immediately._

 _Ur tilted her head to the side. "Juvia? The girl you were always shouting about when you had nightmares?" Gray looked away. "_ That _Juvia?"_

 _"_ _Yeah," Gray answered. "She doesn't have her memories though." His eyebrows knitted together as he frowned. "Juvia doesn't remember me."_

 _Silver sighed in what sounded like relief. "Well, then my future daughter-in-law doesn't remember how I tried to freeze her the first time I saw her." Gray glared at him and Silver laughed, ruffling his son's already messy hair. "Don't worry, Gray, she'll come to."_

 _Ur nodded. "Not all of us gets out memories in a snap. They're buried in the recesses of her reincarnated mind, you know."_

 _"_ _You just have to trigger it in some way," Silver said, nodding._

Ever since that conversation, he had been trying to revive her memories by retelling their experiences. Sometimes, Natsu and Lucy would join them, which was both a good thing and a bad thing. It was a good thing because Natsu and Lucy were naturally gifted storytellers. Natsu would act out the scenes as if he was trying to relive the experience. Lucy would recall it as if she was the all-knowing narrator.

It was a bad thing because he and Natsu couldn't last a conversation without fighting about this and that, which then leaves a giggling Juvia and an annoyed Lucy ("seriously, some things never change! They're going to make a mess again!") to finish the story. Worst case scenario, class president Erza would slam their heads together like old times.

He caught her staring outside the window again.

Juvia was always watching the sunrise from their classroom. Her blue eyes twinkled as she marveled at the rays of the sun, as if she had just seen it for the first time. The clouds would stretch out from the sky, orange and yellow hues playing as they shifted with the light.

He could agree that it was a beautiful scene.

Gray shrugged off his backpack and hung it on the side of his chair. "Morning, Juvia," he said offhandedly, glancing at the blue-haired girl.

The blue-haired girl did not look at him. "Good morning, Gray-sama." Once she realized who she had just greeted, however, her head immediately turned. Juvia was immediately met by the smirking face of Gray Fullbuster.

His indirect confession the other day was still fresh in her mind, and he knew this. He had, as he said, willingly laid down his life if it meant she would live. The current Juvia was waiting for him to bring it up again, to clarify if his feelings were still the same as she attempted to decipher hers. Past, or present, reincarnated or not, Juvia was always waiting.

"Lost in thought, are we?"

"Juvia is sorry," Juvia replied, blushing. "Juvia was just thinking about what Gray-sama said."

He raised an eyebrow, leaning his arm on his desk. "What I said?"

"About the rain. How you stopped it. How Juvia never saw the blue sky and felt the warmth of the sun before you arrived."

Flashbacks from their battle appeared in his mind. "Yeah, what about it?"

She fidgets in her seat. "Well, Juvia has always loved the sunrise," he told him, before glancing outside. The sun had already taken full control of the sky. The clouds were slowly turning white and the sky was becoming a light shade of blue.

Juvia sighed. "Every time Juvia would see the sunrise, Juvia would feel extremely happy. And for some reason," she looked at him, and air hitched in his throat, "grateful."

"Oh."

"And she was wondering if perhaps, she was grateful to _you_."

He stayed silent. She always seemed to catch him off-guard.

Juvia continued, "Juvia would have never seen the sun and the blue, _blue_ sky if it wasn't for Gray-sama."

 _"_ _Juvia would have never seen the sun and the blue,_ blue _sky if it wasn't for Gray-sama."_

 _She looks like she's shining. On the rare days that Gray woke up at the same time she did. He would catch her staring outside the window, marveling at the sun's rays and smiling as if she was recalling a fond memory._

 _"_ _It's beautiful, isn't it?"_

 _"_ _Yes," She whispered, smiling as she turned around. Her eyes were sparkling with delight. "Juvia is happy she got to spend this moment with you."_

"Juvia is happy she got to spend this moment with you."

He blinked.

At his lack of response, Juvia blushed, before opening her mouth to apologize. "Sorry, Juvia was too caught up in the moment, she shouldn't have—"

"No, it's alright," Gray interrupted, shaking his head. "You just—triggered a memory."

"Juvia did?"

"Yeah." He paused. "You said the exact same thing back then, while you were watching the sunrise."

She pointed her gaze towards the sky. "Gray-sama was a really important person to Juvia in her past life, wasn't he?"

He shrugged, leaning on his seat. "I guess. You loved all your friends."

"Yes, but Gray-sama's different."

Perhaps she was starting to recall. "Different how?"

Juvia tilted her head to the side, humming as she thought. "Gajeel-kun, Lucy-san, Cana-san—they all make Juvia really happy."

"Do I not make you happy?" He feels a light tinge of guilt. Gray knows he caused her pain. He left her underneath the rain. He constantly refused the love she had given him.

Maybe this was his punishment. What if Juvia would never be able to remember her past? What if she shunned him once she remembered everything he had unconsciously done to her that pained her?

"That's not it," Juvia said frantically, seeing the hurt look on Gray's face. "Gray-sama is like the sunrise."

He raised an eyebrow.

"For some strange reason, you make Juvia feel warm."

 _He buries his head in her chest, tears flowing down his cheeks as he held her tight._

" _You're warm."_


	3. growth

_had a little trouble with this prompt, but was finally able to make something out of it! hope you guys like this! thank you so much for your positive reviews!_

* * *

They're starting to make progress.

Once, Gray had picked up his phone during ice hockey practice to the sound of a crying girl at the other end. Immediately he cuts training and heads over to where Juvia was located.

He learned a few days ago that the lake by the side of their school was where Juvia went whenever she felt as if she needed to get close to her element. She preferred the lake over the pool because to her, "the lake helps Juvia replenish." So, Gray Fullbuster found himself coming to that specific location as soon as he hung up. When he arrived, her eyes were red and she looked a _lot_ paler than usual. She looked like she had seen death itself.

"Juvia is sorry," she said to him, wiping her eyes with the edges of her sleeve. Juvia stood up to greet him, but he motioned for her to sit back down. Stubborn as she was, she didn't listen and instead walked up to him. "Juvia knew Gray-sama had training today, but she still—"

"It's alright," he interrupted, looking over her worriedly. "What happened?"

Her eyes started to water. Gray sat down, leaning on the side of the tree. He gripped her hand and dragged her down with him, allowing her to settle on the grass. She tightened her hold on his hand. Tears were flowing freely on Juvia's cheeks as she watched the stagnant waters, avoiding Gray's gaze.

"Juvia is sorry," she whispered. Juvia let go of his hand and brought her legs closer to her chest, burying her face on her knees. "Juvia—didn't—Juvia—" her sobs were relentless.

For some reason, he knew what she was going to say.

"Juvia was the one who—"

"—killed the necromancer who was controlling my father."

She raised her head, staring at him in surprise. "How—"

"You told me," he muttered.

 _In the middle of the snow-covered ground, two mages fell. He held on to her as if she was some sort of light, clinging to her warmth._

"Long ago."

"Oh," Juvia said in realization. She sighed in relief. "Juvia is sorry you have to go through this again."

He shrugged. "At least you're getting your memories back. As I told you, some won't be pleasant."

He knew she remembered the way she loved him, burning brighter than the hottest star. Continuously trying to melt the heart that lay in the middle of a fortress he himself had created. At the same time, He knew she remembered the way he coldly ignored her advances. The way he rejected her sun to keep her safe.

Juvia leaned on the tree, feeling its rough bark on her back. "It all seems so vivid. She entered the body of the necromancer and fooled him into thinking that he was able to defeat Juvia."

"You _what?"_

"Juvia didn't tell you?"

"No, you just told me that you defeated the necromancer, not _how_ you defeated him! Juvia, that was dangerous, you could have died!"

Mentally, Gray berated himself for shouting. He knew just how much it hurt Juvia to bring him any sort of pain. He had experienced the severity of the amount she was willing to sacrifice firsthand, after all.

Her answer surprised him.

She smiled at him weakly, sniffing. "Juvia would do anything if it meant that Gray-sama would be safe." Her answer had come so naturally, as if she was so used to saying it. As if she had repeated it over and over and over in her head.

A moment of silence took over them once more, as it did in many of their previous was hurting emotionally, clutching her chest and attempting to silence the sobs that racked her small, frame. He clenched his fist. _What could he do?_ Juvia had helped silence his demons.

And now, here she was, traces of her memory plaguing her with visions that would eventually lead to nightmares.

Gray broke the trance. "You want to meet my dad?"

Her eyes were still filled with crystalline tears when she looked at him."Father?"

"Yeah," he said nonchalantly, trying to relieve the tense atmosphere surrounding them. "He's alive in this world. My mom too, but she's in the states, so you won't get to see her. You'll see Ur though."

"Your old teacher?"

" _Aunt,_ now. And Lyon's still at Pegasus High, so you won't see him."

Lyon and Juvia's first meeting (reincarnated, that is), was, thankfully, not as annoying as their first meeting in their past life. Lyon had grown infatuated with Meredy both in their past life and in the present. The pink-haired girl just so happened to be Ultear's friend and comrade, which was a good thing because it meant his nuisance of a cousin was leaving Juvia alone.

Not that Gray cared, anyway.

"Juvia would love to meet Silver-sama," she told him happily, the light returning in her eyes as she smiled. "Are you sure it's okay for Juvia to be intruding, though?"

"Of course. He's been wanting to talk to you for a while."

* * *

"Dad, I'm home."

If there was one thing that stood out in Gray's household, it was definitely the temperature. Lucy had once called his home a refrigerator. Natsu didn't even want to come inside. Every single one of his friends remembered to take a coat with them whenever they went to Gray's house.

He waited for a reaction from the former water mage, but Juvia almost took no notice. It was if she had been expecting the cold.

"You're early!" His father, scarred and smirking, appeared in front of the both of them. "I thought you had ice hockey training."

"Yeah, well, you needed to meet someone."

Juvia removed her boots and placed them beside Gray's, before stepping foot on the shag carpet. "I'm sorry for intru—"

Silver's next statement was voiced in surprise. "Juvia?"

Juvia nodded. "G-good afternoon, my name is Juvia—"

"My daughter-in-law!" Silver greeted, and Gray smacked his palm on his forehead, his cheeks turning into various shades of red.

The old man smiled warmly at Juvia. Instantly, she loosened up, and offered the former ice demon slayer a smile in return.

"It has been far too long, my daughter," Silver told her, guiding Juvia towards the sofa. "Tell me, have your memories returned?"

Juvia shook her head in response. "Not all of them, Silver-sama."

"Please, call me father! Won't be long, right?" He winked suggestively at Gray, who glared at him.

Juvia was blushing to the roots of her hair. "Juvia doesn't really know, she can never really tell for sure." She whispered something that Gray couldn't hear, which made Silver laugh.

Gray attempted to change the topic. "Hey, aren't you cold?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

She shook her head. "No, Juvia is used to the cold."

Somehow, he felt as if she wasn't just talking about the temperature.

Silver saved the conversation by choosing to ask about how Juvia had been in her reincarnated life.

"Juvia is a swimmer," she said shyly.

"Very fitting for a water mage!" Silver commented jovially, laughing.

Silver received Juvia warmly. She immediately forgot about her woes about killing the necromancer, and rejoiced as she spent time with the father of the man she had loved.

Gray watched all of this with a satisfied look on his face.

* * *

"Who's this?"

Ur closed her bedroom door, raising an eyebrow at the guest she knew not. Juvia stood up at Ur's appearance, bowing politely.

"G-good afternoon, my name is Ju—"

"Ahh, Juvia, the girl in Gray's nightmares!" Ur said, smiling as she gave Juvia a light hug. "It's nice to officially meet you!"

"Ur!" Gray shouted in embarrassment.

Juvia looked perplexed, but relaxed in the hug. "It's nice to meet you as well. Gray speaks very highly of you."

"Glad to know you still have respect for me," Ur smirked as she looked at Gray. The boy's eye was twitching at her.

"Yeah well, glad to know you're spouting personal details about me to my friends."

Silver laughed, and Juvia giggled. Ur flashed Juvia a light smile.

"In all honesty, Juvia, I'm happy to finally meet you." She lowered her voice. "You hold a very special place in Gray's heart, y'know."

Juvia returned Ur's smile with one of her own.

Gray barely registered the pain in her eyes as she said, "I know."


End file.
